A Horse’s Head In Every City Centre

Published on November 18th, 2012

The green upside-down horse’s head near Marble Arch has proven so popular with tourists and art critics alike, that town councils all over the country are clamouring to be among the “lucky hundred” who will be awarded one of the full batch, currently being cast, using Arts Council and Central Government Funding. Secretary Of State For THe Arts, John Whittngdale said “It’s about time every city had a giant, upside-down horse’s head. They look so lovely and bring joy. Joy is important in this day and age and so, I’m betting my money, – well your money actually, on this horse.” Ed Vaizey, Minister for the Arts, said “I agree with Maria”.

THe horse’s heads cost three million pounds each, to make, and it takes thirty men four weeks to erect each one, – creating jobs throughout the land. To commemorate this act of Governmental generosity, Boris Johnson has commissioned the rest of the Marble Arch horse to be created and fixed to the existing head, thereby creating the tallest man-made structure in the UK. “I hated the damn thing at first” said Boris, running his fingers boyishly through his blonde mane, “because we inherited it from Labour, but now I think it’s a cracking idea to complete the horse and make lots more, because WE thought of that!”

The suicide rate has risen sharply in the past month, since this announcement, but it is generally thought that this is a small price to pay for having a green, upside-down horse’s head in many of the big towns in Britain. There has been a rise in revenue from sales of artists’ materials such as paint, bronze, faeces and thermaldahide.


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