WOMBLES IN CABINET RESHUFFLE

Published on July 14th, 2014

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The Wombles Of The House Of Commons Are We

David Cameron has bravely put in place the most sensational cabinet reshuffle since , ooh, a long time ago. He has initially – and crucially – decided to replace HIMSELF with Orinoco as Prime Minister. “I felt that as Orinoco is asleep most of the time he will make fewer mistakes than most Prime Ministers, and be aware less about the flak we get” said David Cameron. “I myself shall become Cabinet Secretary, an unelected role that nevertheless carries with it a Knighthood, so I’m not upset, and I get as much or more power than I had before”. Great Uncle Bulgaria will take up the post of Home Secretary, as he spends most of his time at home. He feels he can bring much to the role. “I may be, in cabinet terms, inferior to Orinoco but one must let the young have their moment”, he said. “I’m still the boss back on the Common, and have much influence”.
Mr Hague was not available for comment about Wellington being named as Foreign Secretary. Wellington said “I do quite a lot of travelling, and particularly enjoy a trip to Waterloo to do train spotting and to think about our relationship with the French, which has never been better, – and never will be (Madame Cholet excluded, because she’s lovely and makes very good bracken flan)”.

Other members of Mr Cameron’s new cabinet are Alderney – Secretary Of State for the Channel Islands, Bungo, Secretary Of State for The Environment, Tomsk, Secretary Of State For Health, and Tobermory, Secretary of State For Industry. Madame Cholet was unavailable for comment about the fact that she has been appointed Secretary Of State For Cake Making, Hoovering and Nuclear Energy” . A source close to the well-known French cook said that she was pleased to be included in the cabinet but that she thought she had been a victim of stereotyping. BBC Political Editor Jeremy PaxWomble pointed out that the fact that Madame Cholet spends all her time in the the kitchen in every episode, is French, and make cakes all the time, had probably been a deciding factor in her being typecast for the role. She did, however vow to limit Nuclear Power reliance and to introduce Pine Cone Power as its gradual replacement over the next two hundred years.

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