Published on September 27th, 2009

What is it about British Airways tea? How do they get it so black, thick and stewed? As representatives of Britain, they generally do fairly well, but am I the only one who has noticed they can’t make a simple cup of tea? I personally drink my tea with smidge of milk, almost none, and sometimes black. So I’m used to strong tea, but BA tea is evil, stagnant stuff that probably takes the lining off your stomach.

We Britons drink more tea than anyone else, – it’s our national drink, – but when it comes to making a good old British cuppa, BA get nul points.

Maybe they run special courses in “How To Make British Airways Tea”. Maybe there’s a special ingredient apart from tea and water, that you only get told about when you pass your STEWardess or STEWard exam. Why don’t they just give you a tea bag and a mug of hot water so you can dangle the bag to create your perfect colour.

BA passengers of the world, unite! March on their offices, Jam their computers. DEMAND a better cuppa; because you’re worth it.

Here comes a poem WHAT I WROTE about BA Tea. *clears throat*

“The BA Stew”
(Ode to the inadequacy of British Airways Tea)

Maybe we British just hate to complain,
Maybe we’re wary of seeming a pain;
We sit there and suffer again and again,
Yearning for “builders’ brew”
But drinking the BA stew.

What’s going on in that stainless steel jug?
Can’t they just give us a tea bag and mug?
I’d be so grateful I’d give them a hug,
Just for some soothing sips
Of Tetley’s or PG Tips.

Think of the wonders Great Britain has done,
Think of our telescopes aimed at the sun;
Think how the Battle of Britain was won,
(So many owing so few),
But still we drink BA stew!


  1. Posted by Martin on September 28th, 2009, 11:58

    Tea-riffic poem, Mike!

    The good news on the horizon is that beginning Autumn 2009, British Airways will offer a new afternoon tea service in the new First Class cabin on flights to the United States.

    In order to provide the new service, “Afternoon Tea by The Dorchester“, BA teamed up with The Dorchester Hotel.

    “Afternoon Tea by The Dorchester” service will offer BA First Class customers a large selection of finely cut sandwiches and cakes, served with a variety of teas from around the world (although BA Stew will I understand only be available on masochistic request).

    Might it be fun to send BA your blog/poem? If they know an opportunity when they see one they'll be offering you and A.N Other a free Dorchester-esque Transatlantic flight and getting a smudger and a scribbler to work up a Tea-Hee article for their in-flight magazine/screen entertainment etc.


    PS – a nice touch that "The BA Stew" is an anagram of "Batts whee"!

  2. Posted by Sanni on December 26th, 2009, 17:03

    BA is allied with Finnair, and I promise to support your relevant cause, also putting some pressure in Finnair flights and see how their stew is. Have not tasted before. Best regards, Sanni (assistant at UNITEA – United Tea World)

  3. Posted by Don on April 16th, 2012, 22:17

    BA coffee is even worse. I think they make it from ground fish. Disgusting stuff.


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